A chance to reflect on past community experiences
Guide Goal: Orientation
Welcome to your first gathering as a new Table Community! We want to use this guide to help orient you to time together, to begin building familiarity and trust with each other, and to come up with a good plan for your time together.
Practice for the Week: Stories
This week, we’ll hold off on what we’re going to eventually get to, our eight communal practices, so that we can set up a healthy connection and trust for this specific community.
A Note for the Table Community Leaders:
People arrive at community with different histories, expectations, and levels of comfort with vulnerability. Some may be eager to share; others may need time to feel safe. Lead with warmth, model honest but appropriately bounded sharing, and resist the urge to make everyone reach the same level of openness.
Before beginning, establish a few simple expectations:
Share at your own pace. You’re welcome to be honest without sharing more than you’re ready to share.
Listen without fixing. Our first task is to receive one another’s stories, not offer advice or explain someone else’s experience.
Treat stories with care. Don’t repeat another person’s personal story outside the group without their permission. Confidentiality has limits when someone’s safety or the safety of another person is at risk.
Make room for everyone. Gently help the group share the time, without pressuring anyone to speak.
If you didn’t finish the practical decisions from Primer Guide 1, take a few minutes to identify any immediate next steps. You don’t need to repeat the full logistics conversation tonight.
Overview: (3 mins)
TABLE LEADER:
One of the key building blocks we bring into any community we’re a part of is our stories. They’re inescapable. Your story - who you’ve been, what your previous experiences, relationships, triumphs and failures have looked like, all contribute to the unique person that is you. You are undeniably shaped, by all the relationships, good, bad, and in-between, that you have so far encountered.
When you have succeeded, your successful relationships becomes a driving engine to your desires. A boss that praised you. A family member that admired you. A friend who was there for you. These relationships forged within yourself a sense of purpose, of belonging, of well-being, of hope.
But where relationships have soured, these become dark shadows and clouds that linger over your sense of self.. You might avoid sharing what at one point has been rejected. You might avoid listening when you have not found it to be encouraged in relationships you’ve had before. Or you might avoid loving, because when you previously have opened yourself up, you’ve been hurt by the love of a friend that was not returned to you.
We name all this to recognize that each of us, in our unique stories, probably has our own distinct mixture; a cocktail of experiences that sets up how we’re coming into this Table Community. Some of these relationships have taken place in the church, in communal settings like. Others of us might be bringing in our mixed history of relationships both in and outside of church contexts. Rather than ignore them, or avoid, we want to give some space to name it. And in doing so, we want to offer even just a small glimpse into each of our stories, and how our friendships have shaped us. This practice, of story-telling and sharing together in those stories is the heartbeat of how a new community can be forged, and maybe, just maybe, how this table community could provide new paths for new friendships to take root.
Practice for Tonight (40 mins)
Beginning with our Stories (35 minutes):
TABLE LEADER:
The first question for the group is what our past experience of community, friendships, and groups has been. If you have spent lots of time in the church, it can be helpful to reflect on those experiences, but if you haven’t, what has building friendships, community and group life looked like for you?
DISCUSS
(Leaders note: start with a simple “go around the circle” exercise, inviting each person to take 2-3 minutes to answer the following prompts).
Positive Experiences
What have been some of your most life-giving experiences of community or friendship?
What made those experiences meaningful? What helped you feel welcomed, known, included, or supported?
Negative Experiences:
What have been some of your more challenging or negative experiences of community or friendship?
What made those experiences difficult? Were there things that weakened trust or made it harder to feel like you belonged?
(Leaders note: We ask both questions together, because it is not uncommon for the positive and negative experiences to be connected together; where a good community or friendship sours and falls apart. We want to hold and explore that tension together.)
Reflecting Together (5 Minutes)
TABLE LEADER:
After everyone has had an opportunity to share, let’s invite the group to reflect briefly:
What did you hear that resonated with you?
What seems to help people feel known, welcomed, and cared for?
Is there anything we want to carry with us as we begin building this community?
(Leaders Note: Keep this conversation focused on listening and shared learning rather than evaluating individual stories. You don’t need to solve every difficulty someone names.)
Reflecting on Expectations & Prayer (20 Minutes)
Reflecting on Our Expectations (10 mins)
TABLE LEADER:
Community can be one of the most life-giving parts of our lives. It can also become a place of disappointment, conflict, or pain. As we begin this journey together, it’s worth making space for the hopes and fears we’re bringing with us.
From what we’ve just shared, we want to invite each person to reflect on the following questions. We can go around the circle or allow a more open conversation, depending on what feels natural for the group.
DISCUSS
Expectations
What do you hope to receive from this Table Community?
Are you especially looking for friendship, formation through shared spiritual practices, a deeper sense of belonging, or something else?
Fears
If this community went poorly, what might that mean for you?
Is there anything that makes it difficult to trust or invest in a new community?
(Leaders Note: You might offer examples if people find these questions difficult to answer. Someone might hope to build lasting friendships or grow in prayer, while fearing that the group will become another obligation or that opening up will lead to disappointment.
Receive what people share without feeling that every concern needs an immediate solution. Sometimes the most caring response is simply, “Thank you for sharing that with us.”)
Prayer for each other (10 minutes)
TABLE LEADER:
We want our time together to be more than a conversation about community. We want to begin practicing the care, prayer, and shared life that will help us become saints together.
Invite everyone to pair up. If there’s an odd number, the leader can join a pair or form a group of three.
Give each person a moment to share one thing they would appreciate prayer for. Then invite each person to offer a short, simple prayer for their partner, asking God to meet them in this season and form them into the saint they are becoming in Jesus.
Keep the prayers simple and personal. There’s no need to find the perfect words or pray for a long time.
PRAY
(Leaders note: Some people may feel hesitant or unfamiliar with praying aloud. Invite everyone to try, but don’t make spoken prayer a test of belonging. Anyone who feels uncomfortable can pray silently or simply sit quietly and listen. We’ll continue learning and practicing prayer together in the weeks ahead.)
Looking Ahead
TABLE LEADER:
Next week, we’ll continue building the foundations of our Table Community as we lean in our final primer guide into listening and prayer. We don’t need to become close overnight. We simply keep showing up, listening well, praying for one another, and making room for God to form us together.
Move to Benediction
This is the conclusion of our guide. We encourage you to close your time with someone from the community praying the benediction over your community, found in the table liturgy.
